A kindergarten teacher had a pupil tell her he had found a frog. She inquired as to whether it was alive or dead. "Dead," she was informed.
"How do you know?" she asked.
"Because I pissed in his ear," said the child, innocently.
"You did WHAT?!?" squealed the teacher in surprise.
"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst' and he didn't move.
Q: Why are frogs so happy?
A: They eat whatever bugs them!
Q: What happens when two frogs collide?
A: They get tongue tied!
Q: How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg?
Q: What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?
A: A rubbit!
Q: Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes?
A: He liked a good croak and dagger.
Q: What happened to the frog's car when his parking meter expired?
A: It got toad!!
Q: What's green green green green green?
A: A frog rolling down a hill
Q: What is a frog's favorite game?
Q: What did the frog order at McDonald's?
A: French flies and a diet Croak
Q: Why did the frog say meow?
A: He was learning a foreign language.
Q: Why did the frog go to the hospital?
A: He needed a "hopperation" !
Q: What is the thirstiest frog in the world?
A: The one who drinks Canada Dry!
Q: How deep can a frog go?
A: Knee-deep Knee-deep!
Q: What do stylish frogs wear?
Q: What does a bankrupt frog say?
A: "Baroke, baroke, baroke."
A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. All the other frogs gathered around the pit.
When they saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead.
The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all of their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up.
He fell down and died.
The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die.
He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, "Did you not hear us?" The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.